WELCOME TO HAPPY BY DESIGN - Online Course

FIVE TIPS TO A HAPPIER YOU

"Our Happy never leaves us, we simply misplace it"

Are you ready to discover 5 things you can do today to increase your Happy quotient? Well, you’ve come to the right place.

We all want to be happy. Easier said than done, how does one go about becoming happy? Is it even possible to become a happier person? And if so, what’s the best way to go about it? Researchers in the field of positive psychology have been studying these questions and the answers are encouraging. Turns out you can genuinely increase your happiness and overall satisfaction with life—and it doesn’t require a winning lottery ticket or some other drastic change of circumstances. What it takes is an inner change of perspective and attitude. This is truly good news, because it’s something that anyone can do.

First let’s start with what WON’T make you Happy

Do you, like many people, have a mental list of things you think you need in order to be truly happy? There are many externals our society teaches us to chase: Success, Wealth, Fame, Power, Good Looks, Romantic Love. But are they really the key to happiness? The research says a resounding NO, at least when it comes to long-term happiness. A prestigious award, a big raise, an exciting new relationship, a fancy new car, losing weight, the perfect holiday...

These things can make us feel great at first, but the thrill doesn’t last very long.

Human beings are quick to adapt to new circumstances—a quality that has helped us survive and thrive. But it also means that the good things that initially make us happier soon become our new normal and we return to our old happiness baseline.

There are a host of MYTHS out there about what will make you happy. So before we embark on a tour of the strategies that do work for boosting happiness, let’s dispense with a few myths our society encourages us to believe in order to be happy.

Myth: Money will make you happy

Fact: It’s stressful when you’re worried about money. In order to be happy, you do need enough of it to cover your basic needs: things like food, shelter, and clothing. But once you have enough money to be comfortable, getting more money isn’t going to make much of a difference in how happy you are. For example, studies of lottery winners show that after a relatively short period of time, they are no more happy than they were before their win. I know you think you're the exception to the rule… you’re not… Sorry!

Myth: You need a relationship in order to be happy

Fact: Being in a healthy, supportive love relationship does contribute to happiness, but it’s not true that you can’t be happy and fulfilled if you’re single. Indeed, singles who have meaningful friendships and pursuits are happier than people in mismatched romantic relationships. It’s also important to note that even a good marriage or romantic partnership doesn’t lead to a permanent, intense happiness boost. Expecting your partner to deliver your happy-ever-after may actually harm the relationship in the long run. You—not your partner OR your family members—are responsible for your own happiness.

Myth: Happiness declines with age

Fact: Contrary to popular belief, people tend to get happier with age. Study after study confirms that seniors experience more positive emotions and fewer (and less intense) negative emotions than young people and middle-aged adults. As a whole, older adults are also more satisfied with their lives, less sensitive to stress, and more emotionally stable. Even with the losses that come with age, it is the happiest time of life for many people. (Now this is a study I can get behind)

Myth: Other people happier than me and there’s nothing I can do to change that

Fact: Genetics do play a role in happiness. Current research suggests that people are born with a certain happiness “set point.” But that only accounts for about half of our happiness level. Another 10% is due to life circumstances. That leaves 40% that is determined by your actions and choices. That’s a lot of control!

With those pesky myths debunked we can get to the 5 juicy tips…

5 Tips to Joy & Lasting Happiness

Tip 1: Train your brain to be more positive

Our brains are wired to notice and remember the things that are wrong. It’s a survival mechanism that helped keep our cave-dwelling ancestors safe in a world where there were many physical threats. But in today’s comparatively safe world, this biological predisposition to focus on the negative contributes to stress and unhappiness.

While we can’t change our nature, we can train our brains to be more positive. This doesn’t mean putting on a smiley face and whistling a happy tune no matter what’s going on. You don’t have to ignore reality or pretend things are wonderful even when they’re not. But just as dwelling on negative things fuels unhappiness (and plays a big role in depression and anxiety), choosing to notice, appreciate, and anticipate goodness is a powerful happiness booster.

Express Gratitude: Teaching yourself to become more grateful can make a huge difference in your overall happiness. The research shows that gratitude helps you experience more positive emotions, decrease depression, feel better about yourself, improve your relationships, and strengthen your immune system. A recent study revealed that gratitude even makes you smarter about how you spend your money.

There are a number of simple exercises you can take advantage of to increase and cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

Give sincere thanks to others. When someone goes above and beyond or does something to make your day easier, be quick to verbalize your thanks and appreciation. Not only will it make the person feel good, it will give you a happiness lift, too. It’s an instant reward to see how expressing gratitude makes a positive difference in someone else’s day. It makes you realize that we’re all connected and that what you do matters.

Keep a gratitude journal. It may sound cheesy, but writing down the good things that happened to you during the day really works. Research shows that keeping a gratitude journals is a powerful technique that instantly makes you feel happier, more connected to others, and genuinely appreciative.

Count your blessings. Make it a habit to regularly reflect on the things you have to be thankful for. Bring to mind all the good people, experiences, and things in your life, both now and in the past. Focus on the blessings both big and small, from the people who love you to the roof over your head and the food on your table. You will soon see it’s a pretty long list.

Write a letter of gratitude. Think of someone who did something that changed your life for the better who you never properly thanked. Write a thoughtful letter of gratitude expressing what the person did, how it affected you, and what it still means to you. Then deliver the letter. Positive psychology expert Martin Seligman recommends reading the letter in person for the most dramatic increase in happiness.

Find the positive in a negative event from your past. Even the most painful circumstances can teach us positive lessons. Reevaluate a negative event from your past with an eye for what you learned or how you became stronger, wiser, or more compassionate. When you can find meaning in even the bad things you’ve experienced, you will be happier and more grateful.

HOMEWORK - ACTION STEP for today is to choose one of the following and practice it 5 - 10 minutes every day:

Express Gratitude

Give sincere thanks to others

Keep a gratitude journal

Count your blessings

Write a letter of gratitude

Find the positive in a negative event from your past

I'd love to hear your comments (below) on which practice you chose and why. If you have any questions, feel free to ask myself or your fellow students in the comments section below. Engaging in the conversation is a fast track to happy. (we will discuss why that is in a upcoming lesson)

Questions? Leave a comment below OR email me directly: [email protected]

Happy designing my lovelies.... Shauna